I've had several clients bring this up recently because this is the landscape that we're in right now where you might not feel comfortable going out with him. Of course, because of the environment and the pandemic and everything that's going on. So how do you say no without killing his attraction? Because the fear is that if you say no, then he'll just move on to another woman. Who's going to say yes. Well, this is not a new dilemma. This dilemma has been going on since the beginning of time. Right? Is that you'll say no. And he'll just go on to another woman who will say yes. And generally speaking, the most wide known version of this is the man who wants to get physical before you want to get physical. He wants to progress things sexually before you're really ready. And the fear that women have all, if I'm not willing to give it up, he's just going to go on and find someone who will give it up. And that. Is scarcity thinking that's a scarcity mindset that if you don't do something you don't really want to do, you're going to lose him. And guess what scarcity begets scarcity, because how many times have you had a girlfriend or maybe this has happened to you where you lower your standards? In other words, you don't hold true to what the pacing that you want in a sexual relationship. You know, someone who slept with him too soon and then guess what out of fear that she would lose him.

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And then guess what? A few weeks later. He moves on anyway, it doesn't call her back anyway. Or maybe that painful event has happened to you. There's no guarantee that because you give him what you want out of fear. That that's good. I actually get what you want. In fact, many times it gets you the reverse. And so I'm going to share with you right now, a proven formula for how you can say no without killing his attorney, but instead igniting his desire for you and how you do this is you convert a no. Two way. Not yet. No two way. Not yet. You see men here? No. And they think never were men here? No, they think it will. It'll never happen. There's just this impossibility that gets impressed in their brain, but not yet. Ooh. That's exciting and not yet means a challenge, a mission, something that he's got to accomplish. And when he accomplishes that, then he gets to have the thing that he wants with you. And when he does finally accomplish that thing with you, The payoff is much bigger because he's earned it and men value what they earn and they feel that they're actually, he accomplishes something that few other men have accomplished. So his payoff is way larger. So how do you do this? How do you actually turn a no to a, not yet? Well, I've broken this down into a very simple eight B, C. Formula for you. So let's take the social distancing date, for example, how do you turn a no into a, not yet? And that scenario, let's say that he asks you out on a social distancing date and you don't feel comfortable with that. Well, most women will say is I don't feel comfortable with that. No. And what he interprets is he feels rejected. Number one, and then he interprets that is never, I there's no possibility of that ever going to happen. Instead use the ABC formula that I've created for you. What is the ACE stand for? ACE stands for affirmation.

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In other words, affirm that you want what he wants, because he may want it now, but you will eventually want that same thing. Right? You eventually want to get it together with him. They're just at different times. But affirm that you also want what he wants when you affirm that you want what he wants. You start on common ground and he feels your desire for him, which is a key ingredient in stoking his desire for you. So you can say something like, I would love that. I would love to go on a date with you. I would love to spend time with you. That's the AE, then move to the B B stands for barrier to overcome. This is where you tell him what would be required for you to feel comfortable. So in the case of a social distancing date, you can say, I would love that. And yeah, I would feel more comfortable if we went on some virtual dates first to get to know one another, boom, that's the barrier to overcome. And then C is challenge him and challenge him with this statement. Do you have what it takes to wait? That is such a great statement. That is so amazing. Cause let me tell you men always want to have what it takes. No, man. You ask him the question. Do you have what it takes? Does he ever in any regard, in any situation ever. One to say, no, he doesn't have what it takes. Cause every man wants to have what it takes. So when you say to him, and this is a very challenge, you want to do this in a playful kind of fun, flirty way. Do you have what it takes to wait? Men will want to say yes in this moment. Now there's two benefits to doing this. Number one is you get to see what he's made of. You get to see what's inside of him. Wayne Dyer used to have this great saying where he would say, when you take an orange and squeeze it, what comes out. Well, orange juice. Why? Because that's what was in there in the first place. So in this essence, you're squeezing your man. And if he complained or gets frustrated with you or tries to give you a guilt trip, you didn't squeeze that out of him. You didn't create that in him. That's what was in him in the first place.

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On the other hand. If through this process, what comes out of your man is respect. Is he honors you. He rises to the occasion. He gets creative and he planned some really cool virtual dates with you. If that's what's come, comes out of him is because that's what was in him in the first place. And so the two great benefits of this ABC process are number one. It's the great revealer. You get to see what your man is made of. You get to see what was in him in the first place. And the second grade benefit is it builds the anticipation because as he's working towards this actual going on a social distancing date with you, his anticipation will build. And we all know that anticipation is the fuel for that desire. So finally, when things do calm down or you feel comfortable enough with him that you go on the social distancing date, his anticipation will be sky high and his desire for you will be sky high. So now remember this ABC formula affirm. Give him a barrier to overcome and then challenge him is the formula for how you turn a no into a not yet. And going from a no to a, not yet is a very powerful thing that invokes biochemistry and a man that will bond him to you. My question to you is what have you found as a powerful way? To say no to a man without killing the chemistry.

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Spotting patterns in your love, life patterns of dating patterns of results. Spotting, those patterns is really the first step to changing your results, because you've got to see it before you can change it. And so today I'm going to share with you five deadly dating patterns that are sabotaging your love life so that you can spot them. See them. And then change them, check it out. So I love to study. I love to research and get my hands on anything I can, that can help me help you improve your love life. So I was reading this book called love in 19, the days by a PhD, her name is Diana Kirschner and she outlined these deadly dating patterns. And I've seen these so often in my client's life. I want to share them with you. So here's number one. Number one is called the flameout. I will also call this the shooting star and here's how it works. You start out so hot, so on fire for one another, where he is adoring you, your adoring him is just going amazing. You have incredible chemistry and because of the deep connection and because of the chemistry you skip over.

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Some of the agreements or some of the things that you would normally do. In other words, you sleep with him too fast. You fall in love with him too fast. You let yourself begin to futurize and plan your wedding and imagine being together and maybe planning a family. And because at the end of the day, he's really not into it for the longterm. Like you are while it starts really hot and on fire, it ends just as fast. And it leaves you feeling heartbroken. It leaves you feeling confused as to what happened. Has the name, the flameout or the shooting star where it burns real hot. And then fades away. Pattern number two is called the fantasy relationship. And this is where you are energetically connected to a relationship that's not available. To you. And so it keeps you single, you might be energetically connected to an ex and you fantasize about him or you do reruns of important relationship moments or fights in your mind. You're like, what would have happened if I would've just done that differently, you've got all this energy tied up in someone who's not available, or you might be fantasy fantasizing over a coworker or someone who's a friend. And they're really not showing you romantic interest, but because you're interested in them, every little thing they do, if they just stop by and say hi, or if they ask you to grab food with the rest of them, even though it's a friendly thing, you, in your mind, you make it into this. Oh, they might be interested in me, but you never actually take any action because the possibility staying in the possibility is safer than actually risking and knowing. Number three is called the crumbs and you've either experienced the crumbs or you have friends who have experienced the crumbs. And this is where you are dating a great guy, a guy who has everything on your list. Except for the fact that he's not prioritizing you. This guy is smart. This guy is funny.

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This guy is successful and the challenge, and just when you are with him, it's amazing. You have like the best days ever, but he's okay. Only giving you leftover moments. It's okay. It's few and far between that. You're actually able to hang out with this guy and you're trying to convince yourself, well, if we keep progressing, then he'll start to prioritize me. So he's only giving you the left in between leftover moments. The crumbs so to speak. And this often ends where he drifts away. And again, you're left, hurt and confused and wondering what's going on. Number four is called the safety net. Now with the safety net, you have attracted a guy who just adores you. This guy will do anything you want to do. See any movie you want to see gushes over. You gives you gifts, brings you gifts, challenges. You don't really like him all that much, but you decide to date him, even though you feel like he's. Beneath you because it's safe, deep down, you know that he can't really hurts you. Cause you're not that invested. In the relationship. And this often comes from a feeling of not being worthy or not feeling like you're enough. And that fear that's underneath that this driving, it rises up when the thought of it. Well, if you attract to someone that you really do like that, you really open yourself up that you're totally into, and he discovers that you're not enough. And he rejects you. It's weird way more devastating than just staying in that safety net. And number five is the not perfect. All pass. And this is actually the other side of the coin of the safety net. And in this one is you date guys, and, and you're constantly finding little flaws in these guys because this guy isn't funny enough, this guy isn't successful enough.

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This guy doesn't dress really right. I didn't like the way that guy was a little bit stiff on the date. And you're very quick to end interactions with guys never really letting any real connection or real. Relationship develop. I know this one. Well, cause I had this one and I would call it upgrade itis where you're constantly like, Oh, I'm just, I'm not feeling this deep seated knowingness that this is the one where that doesn't often happen in really what's going on underneath the surface is there's a fear of getting hurt. There's a fear of rejection, a fear of really letting someone in. And so the paradigm has you. Keeping everyone at arms length, not really letting them in finding faults in them. So you don't have to risk and don't have to risk getting hurt. Now, perhaps just in me describing these patterns, you've noticed or can identify with some of these patterns. In your own love life. There are other patterns that exist as well. Maybe there's some other patterns that you have going, going on that aren't listed here. Okay. But spotting, the pattern is really just the first step. You've got to be able to release the pattern and then install a new, healthy dating pattern. If you really want create that fulfilling, amazing relationship that you want. And quite frankly, it takes courage to do that. And that's why I've created a resource for you. That's why I've created a program called manifest your man. Cause what manifest your man does is exactly this. It helps you identify the paradigms in the patterns that are keeping you from having the love that you want and then gives you a proven, reliable, repeatable step-by-step system. For how to release those patterns and install new healthy dating patterns, giving you skills for how to create connection and attraction with your man. So you can manifest him faster than you ever could on your own. You can explore this program, see if it's a good fit for you. If you love this. And here's, what's cool when you release these fears and these patterns, it doesn't just affect. Your love life. It begins to improve and affect every area of your life. In fact, this woman just sent me this video. Her name is Stacy she's from Jamaica. She took the manifest your man program. Notice what she's holding in her hands and watch what she says. Check this out. Hi guys, this is Stacy and I'm hailing from Kingston, Jamaica. The manifest your man program. I was coming from a third wheel. Can please. Um, I'm a divorcee and a Qantas survival and a single mother of three. Also from, um, going through my breast cancer journey. I had to have a mastectomy and do reconstructive surgery after. And just between the radiation and the scarring from that. And then the scar from all the surgeries I was in my head, a lot about my body and about, you know, loving myself and, um, feeling like I really could not. Onboard a partner with three children. And I have that person accepted, et cetera was a major block. But this year I was in the April cohorts, I believe. And, um, and I was just like blown away by the things that I learned. Aside from attracting love into my life, which I did. So I've been writing a memoir about my cancer journey for, from 2012. I was not able to complete this. I was finally able to not just complete the book, but also get an editor, get a publishing consultant. And the book is here. It's here. People is here. And I would say guys that the guy, the guy is. I can't even find the words to explain how much of a blessing this man has been in my space. Guys, I cannot begin to tell you it's, it's manifest your mind and more is what they should really call the coaching program, because that's exactly what happened to my life. And I could say one thing you're on the fence about taking this program, get off the fence. Jump on the side that says, take it, take the course and run with it.