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Dating is crazy right now we're up against all kinds of limitations that we've never had before. And if you're online dating right now, chances are you're connecting with guys who still want to meet up. They still want to go out and often they want to go out fast because they're all cooped up and they're all quarantine and they're just wanting that extra connection. And so you might be the person you're okay with that. Or you might be the person that you're not feeling okay with that. They're promising you they'll stay six feet away. Let's just go on a walk. Let's go on a hike. I'll wear my mask. They say, we're going to be in fresh air. They say, but if you really don't feel comfortable with that, how do you say no without killing the attraction? That's what we're going to be talking about right now. Keep watching.
I've had several clients bring this up recently because this is the landscape that we're in right now where you might not feel comfortable going out with him. Of course, because of the environment and the pandemic and everything that's going on. So how do you say no without killing his attraction? Because the fear is that if you say no, then he'll just move on to another woman. Who's going to say yes. Well, this is not a new dilemma. This dilemma has been going on since the beginning of time. Right? Is that you'll say no. And he'll just go on to another woman who will say yes. And generally speaking, the most wide known version of this is the man who wants to get physical before you want to get physical. He wants to progress things sexually before you're really ready. And the fear that women have all, if I'm not willing to give it up, he's just going to go on and find someone who will give it up. And that. Is scarcity thinking that's a scarcity mindset that if you don't do something you don't really want to do, you're going to lose him. And guess what scarcity begets scarcity, because how many times have you had a girlfriend or maybe this has happened to you where you lower your standards? In other words, you don't hold true to what the pacing that you want in a sexual relationship. You know, someone who slept with him too soon and then guess what out of fear that she would lose him.
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And then guess what? A few weeks later. He moves on anyway, it doesn't call her back anyway. Or maybe that painful event has happened to you. There's no guarantee that because you give him what you want out of fear. That that's good. I actually get what you want. In fact, many times it gets you the reverse. And so I'm going to share with you right now, a proven formula for how you can say no without killing his attorney, but instead igniting his desire for you and how you do this is you convert a no. Two way. Not yet. No two way. Not yet. You see men here? No. And they think never were men here? No, they think it will. It'll never happen. There's just this impossibility that gets impressed in their brain, but not yet. Ooh. That's exciting and not yet means a challenge, a mission, something that he's got to accomplish. And when he accomplishes that, then he gets to have the thing that he wants with you. And when he does finally accomplish that thing with you, The payoff is much bigger because he's earned it and men value what they earn and they feel that they're actually, he accomplishes something that few other men have accomplished. So his payoff is way larger. So how do you do this? How do you actually turn a no to a, not yet? Well, I've broken this down into a very simple eight B, C. Formula for you. So let's take the social distancing date, for example, how do you turn a no into a, not yet? And that scenario, let's say that he asks you out on a social distancing date and you don't feel comfortable with that. Well, most women will say is I don't feel comfortable with that. No. And what he interprets is he feels rejected. Number one, and then he interprets that is never, I there's no possibility of that ever going to happen. Instead use the ABC formula that I've created for you. What is the ACE stand for? ACE stands for affirmation.
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In other words, affirm that you want what he wants, because he may want it now, but you will eventually want that same thing. Right? You eventually want to get it together with him. They're just at different times. But affirm that you also want what he wants when you affirm that you want what he wants. You start on common ground and he feels your desire for him, which is a key ingredient in stoking his desire for you. So you can say something like, I would love that. I would love to go on a date with you. I would love to spend time with you. That's the AE, then move to the B B stands for barrier to overcome. This is where you tell him what would be required for you to feel comfortable. So in the case of a social distancing date, you can say, I would love that. And yeah, I would feel more comfortable if we went on some virtual dates first to get to know one another, boom, that's the barrier to overcome. And then C is challenge him and challenge him with this statement. Do you have what it takes to wait? That is such a great statement. That is so amazing. Cause let me tell you men always want to have what it takes. No, man. You ask him the question. Do you have what it takes? Does he ever in any regard, in any situation ever. One to say, no, he doesn't have what it takes. Cause every man wants to have what it takes. So when you say to him, and this is a very challenge, you want to do this in a playful kind of fun, flirty way. Do you have what it takes to wait? Men will want to say yes in this moment. Now there's two benefits to doing this. Number one is you get to see what he's made of. You get to see what's inside of him. Wayne Dyer used to have this great saying where he would say, when you take an orange and squeeze it, what comes out. Well, orange juice. Why? Because that's what was in there in the first place. So in this essence, you're squeezing your man. And if he complained or gets frustrated with you or tries to give you a guilt trip, you didn't squeeze that out of him. You didn't create that in him. That's what was in him in the first place.
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On the other hand. If through this process, what comes out of your man is respect. Is he honors you. He rises to the occasion. He gets creative and he planned some really cool virtual dates with you. If that's what's come, comes out of him is because that's what was in him in the first place. And so the two great benefits of this ABC process are number one. It's the great revealer. You get to see what your man is made of. You get to see what was in him in the first place. And the second grade benefit is it builds the anticipation because as he's working towards this actual going on a social distancing date with you, his anticipation will build. And we all know that anticipation is the fuel for that desire. So finally, when things do calm down or you feel comfortable enough with him that you go on the social distancing date, his anticipation will be sky high and his desire for you will be sky high. So now remember this ABC formula affirm. Give him a barrier to overcome and then challenge him is the formula for how you turn a no into a not yet. And going from a no to a, not yet is a very powerful thing that invokes biochemistry and a man that will bond him to you. My question to you is what have you found as a powerful way? To say no to a man without killing the chemistry.